“The telephone was an aberation in human development. It was a 70 year or so period where for some reason humans decided it was socially acceptable to ring a loud bell in someone else’s life and they were expected to come running, like dogs. This was the equivalent of thinking it was okay to walk into someone’s living room and start shouting. it was never okay. It’s less okay now.” – Rick Webb
This sums up my thoughts on the telephone in a more eloquent way than I ever could. The only person I actually enjoy speaking to on the phone is my wife. That’s really a testament to how much I love my wife, when you consider how much I truly despise the telephone.
In nearly all instances, phone conversations can be handled more efficiently and less intrusively by another means of communication. Email, text messaging, and Twitter come to mind.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say a friend of mine is working on a project, and needs to borrow my hammer. A phone conversation might go something like this:
RING RING
Me: Hello?
Friend: Hi Llama.
Me: Who’s this?
Friend: It’s Toby, silly.
Me: Oh, hi Toby.
Friend: So how are the wife llama and kid llamas?
Me: Oh they’re great. How about yours?
Friend: My wife is great, but the little ones are really a handful. They keep poking each other in the eyes, over and over again. I’m really afraid they might do some real damage.
Me: …….
Friend: But enough about me, what’s up with you?
Me: Not much, just enjoying life.
Friend: Haha I wish I was. I work so much these days. Last week I must have put in 90 hours. Have you ever worked in a light bulb factory for 90 hours? Let me tell you, it’s not as much fun as it sounds. You can only check so many light bulbs before you start going insane.
Me: [crickets]
Friend: Listen so anyway, I’m working on this project. I’m building a new doghouse for my son. Since he won’t stop poking his sister in the eyes I figure what better solution than making him live in a doghouse? I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.
Me: Uh, sure what’s up?
Friend: Do you have a hammer I can borrow?
The trivialities are outrageous.
Now let’s see that same conversation in text message form.
Friend text to me: Hey Llama, can I borrow a hammer?
Me: Sure.
Quick, simple, to the point. No loud ringing in my home, no interruption, no excessive BS before getting to the point. Just the way it should be.
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It’s worse today because it’s not just ringing and it doesn’t just affect a person at home. It’s some rap song turned up to ten blasting in the grocery store while I’m trying to buy ice cream. Now I have to deal with everyone else’s bad taste while I’m trying to do my shopping? Our to hear them yak away in the produce section on there ridiculous Bluetooth headset. Newsflash people: wearing a Bluetooth doesn’t make you look as important as you think it does. It makes you look like a jerk. Knock it off!